July 20, 2008--My Mom

I am exhausted.....and I still have a sink load of dishes to do! (no,..that is not what I am grateful for) I am avoiding it and thought I would take a pause and reflect on today and what I am grateful for. In Relief Society today, our lesson was on "Words of Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death." Of course it brought me back to the time that my Mom passed and I had a surge of emotions hit me as I held my baby girl, Nyah. I wish so badly that Mom could still be here, but I do know that her work here was finished, that she is preparing a place for her family in heaven, and that she is happy and pain-free! I am grateful everyday for the words that she shared with us girls when they told her that her cancer was terminal. She said..." I am not scared....I am only sad because I won't be here with you girls and the new grandbabies to come. Knowing that she was not scared proved to me that she had a strong testimony of what was to come and that she was prepared to go. I am grateful that I had 26 years with her and was able to watch and learn from her everyday! I am most grateful for her love and friendship to me. She knew me better than anyone else and she always knew what to say and do for me. I am grateful that at the time of her passing, we as a family were together and that it was a joyous time with her. Ultimately, I am grateful to KNOW that I will see her again. I can't wait to just sit and talk with her.

I am also very thankful for the tender mercies of the LORD near the time of her passing. A couple of days before she had passed she woke up quite alert and able. She asked for pancakes and even took a wheelchair walk outside. Previous to that day, she was very weak and had a hard time conversing with us. We as a family wondered if the miracle we had been praying for was happening. Did the cancer leave her? We soon realized that it was not the case and within hours she took a turn for the worse. Up until then, we were all praying for the miracle and looking for any sign that she would beat the cancer. Without much conversation, it seemed as if the family was being prepared for her departure and the mood changed. Dad gave her a blessing of release and instead of praying for a miracle, we prayed that the LORD would take her home. I KNOW that the LORD instilled in us a sense of peace and closure. I think that is one of the tender mercies of the LORD during such a precious time of losing a loved one. So,...I am also grateful that the Spirit, the Comforter, poured out love and spoke peace to our family so that we could ultimately let go.